Write 95 Theses About How You Expect to Be Treated
How a Horoscope Sent Me Down a Radical Truth Path.
The astrology app didn’t ask nicely.
Right there, front and center, in big letters, it told me exactly this.
“Write 95 Theses about how you want to be treated and nail it to their door.”
I stared at my phone genuinely dumbfounded.
I find astrology entertaining and interesting, and usualy scroll it and move on. But this was not some vague encouragement about Mercury retrograde, or trusting divine timing. This wasn’t soothing or gentle. It felt confrontational, almost aggressive. And honestly, confusing.
Write 95 Theses and nail it to the door??
I had no idea what that meant but I knew it had to be something.
So I did what I always do when I’m curious about something…I went to Google.
That search dropped me into a story I thought I knew a little about, but didn’t actually know at all. Which surprised me. I was raised Christian and practiced Lutheran for years. I spent years inside that tradition and somehow never learned this part of the story.
What I found wasn’t just interesting history. It cracked something open. It sent me down a rabbit hole connecting theology, power, silence, and self-betrayal in a way I couldn’t unsee.
And it changed how I understood that astrology message entirely.
The Story Most of Us Never Learned
In 1517, a Catholic monk and theologian named Martin Luther wrote a document that would quietly detonate an entire belief system.
At the time, the Catholic Church held immense power. Not only spiritual power, but political & financial power. One of its practices involved selling indulgences. Meaning: Pay money & reduce punishment for sin. It was framed as mercy. In reality, it kept people fearful, obedient, and dependent on an institution that profited from their guilt.
Luther had a problem with that.
So he wrote Ninety-five Theses. Ninety-five specific arguments challenging the Church’s theology, authority, and corruption. These were not emotional outbursts. Written in Latin, they were structured, numbered and thought through.
According to tradition, he posted them on the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany. Historically speaking, church doors functioned as public bulletin boards. Scholars still debate whether Luther personally nailed them up himself, but that detail misses the point.
He made his objections public.
He stopped whispering concerns inside a system that depended on silence. He put his disagreement where it could be seen, debated, and challenged.
Luther did not set out to start a new denomination. He wanted reform. The Lutheran Church emerged later as a consequence of his refusal to keep accommodating a system that violated his conscience.
What Luther Actually Wrote
Luther’s theses were not vague declarations. They were direct challenges to a system that relied on silence and compliance.
Here are five examples, paraphrased into modern language:
Forgiveness of sins cannot be bought with money through indulgences.
The Pope does not have authority to release souls from punishment in purgatory.
Indulgences create false confidence and give people a dangerous sense of spiritual security.
Christians should use their money to help the poor rather than purchase indulgences.
True repentance is an ongoing inner transformation, not a one-time transaction.
So What Does This Have to Do With You & I?
Here’s where this gets personal.
Most of us are not living under religious indulgences anymore. But we are absolutely living under emotional, relational, and cultural ones.
There are unspoken rules we absorb early on. Rules about what we’re supposed to tolerate, what we’re supposed to want, what makes us acceptable, or even what makes us difficult. Rules about how much space we’re allowed to take up before we’re considered too much.
We learn pretty quickly what keeps the peace. What earns approval. Which parts of ourselves get praised and which parts are inconvenient or quietly discouraged.
And over time, we adapt.
We swallow things we don’t fully agree with. We stay quiet when something feels off. Sometimes we even reshape ourselves instead of questioning the system we’re inside, because that feels safer than pushing back.
Just like the indulgences Luther challenged, these accommodations come with a promise. Not an explicit one, but an implied one. Go along with it and things will be easier. Don’t make waves and you’ll stay connected. Adjust just a little more and maybe you won’t lose anything important.
But that promise doesn’t hold up for very long.
That’s why Luther’s story isn’t just history. It’s instruction.
He didn’t dismantle the Catholic Church. He simply named what he could no longer participate in. He wrote it down. He made it specific. And he stopped negotiating silently.
So when my astrology app told me to write 95 theses about how I want to be treated, it stopped sounding dramatic and started sounding like a personal challenge.
This essay is about doing exactly that.
It’s about writing your own theses. Not to challenge an authority, but to challenge the beliefs, patterns, and low standards you’ve been living without ever consciously consenting to them.
It’s about getting clear on what you will accept and what you’re done accommodating.
And here’s the part people often miss.
This isn’t a wish list. It’s a mirror.
When you write down how you want to be treated, you’re also defining the level of integrity you’re willing to live at. You don’t get to demand emotional availability while avoiding your own feelings. You don’t get to call in respect while consistently disrespecting yourself.
What Your 95 Theses Might Look Like
This is where it stops being theory and starts getting practical.
There isn’t one right way to do this or even one right topic. Your 95 Theses could be about how you want to be treated, or how you want to live, or what you’re no longer willing to tolerate. (And it doesn’t need to be 95 either, that does seem intense.) They could be about relationships, your body, your work, your time, your faith. Anywhere you’ve been accommodating out of habit instead of choice.
Think of what follows as a brainstorming space.
These are examples of how clear, non-negotiable declarations might sound when you actually put language to them. Some will resonate. Some won’t. They are for inspiration only.
Ideal Partner / Relationships
I will not shrink myself to make someone comfortable with my success.
My partner shows up consistently, not just when it’s convenient.
I am attracted to emotional availability, not potential.
My partner takes accountability without defensiveness.
We have hard conversations without threat of abandonment.
My partner celebrates my wins as loudly as I celebrate theirs.
I will not be the only one doing the emotional labor.
My partner respects my boundaries the first time I set them.
We grow together, not apart—or we let each other go.
My partner understands that love is a verb, not just a feeling.
I am with someone who sees my past as part of my strength, not a red flag.
My partner doesn’t just tolerate my kids—they respect and value them.
We communicate like adults, not like wounded children.
My partner knows how to apologize and actually means it.
I will not tolerate being gaslit, dismissed, or made to feel crazy.
Self-Worth / Boundaries
16. I no longer apologize for taking up space.
17. My “no” is a complete sentence.
18. I do not owe anyone access to my energy.
19. I will not perform healing to make others comfortable.
20. I trust my intuition, even when I can’t explain it.
21. I am allowed to change my mind, my goals, and my life.
22. I do not need to justify my choices to people who wouldn’t support them anyway.
23. I will not dim my light to make someone else feel brighter.
24. My rest is not laziness—it is resistance.
25. I am worthy of the same grace I give to others.
26. I do not have to earn love through overachieving.
27. I will not tolerate disrespect disguised as “honesty.”
28. I am allowed to outgrow people, even if I once loved them deeply.
29. I do not need permission to prioritize myself.
30. I release guilt for protecting my peace.
Health / Body
31. I listen to my body instead of punishing it.
32. I move my body because I love it, not because I hate it.
33. I eat in a way that honors both nourishment and joy.
34. I do not equate my worth with a number on a scale.
35. I rest without guilt.
36. I trust my body’s signals—pain, hunger, exhaustion, pleasure.
37. I will not force my body into someone else’s definition of health.
38. I prioritize sleep like the life-saving tool it is.
39. I heal at my own pace, not the pace someone else thinks I should.
40. I do not apologize for taking up space in my own skin.
41. I choose practitioners who listen, not ones who dismiss.
42. I honor my nervous system by not forcing productivity during dysregulation.
43. I move away from diet culture and toward body trust.
44. I celebrate what my body can do, not just what it looks like.
45. I am allowed to feel good in my body, exactly as it is today.
Career / Business / Money
46. I charge what I’m worth, not what I think people can afford.
47. I do not undervalue my expertise to make others comfortable.
48. I will not hustle myself into burnout to prove I’m “serious.”
49. I build a business that aligns with my values, not just my bank account.
50. I am allowed to make money and have integrity.
51. I do not need to be available 24/7 to be successful.
52. I say no to opportunities that drain me, even if they look good on paper.
53. I trust that rest is part of my business strategy.
54. I will not dim my message to appeal to people who were never my audience.
55. I am allowed to pivot, rebrand, and start over as many times as I need.
56. I do not measure my success by someone else’s timeline.
57. I build wealth that creates freedom, not just status.
58. I invest in support, tools, and education that actually move the needle.
59. I do not apologize for wanting more.
60. I release the belief that suffering is required for success.
Friendships / Community
61. I surround myself with people who challenge me to grow, not stay small.
62. I will not keep friendships out of obligation.
63. I am allowed to outgrow people I once needed.
64. I do not tolerate one-sided relationships.
65. I show up for my people, and I expect the same in return.
66. I will not be the only one initiating, planning, or reaching out.
67. I am drawn to people who celebrate my wins without envy.
68. I trust friendships that feel easy, not exhausting.
69. I release relationships built on trauma bonding, not true connection.
70. I am allowed to have boundaries with family.
71. I do not need to explain my choices to people who don’t respect them.
72. I choose community over competition.
73. I will not shrink my truth to keep the peace.
74. I am worthy of friendships that feel like home.
75. I release the need to be everything to everyone.
Parenting / Family
76. I am breaking generational cycles, even when it’s lonely.
77. I do not need to be a perfect parent—I need to be a present one.
78. I will not repeat the patterns that hurt me.
79. I teach my kids that emotions are information, not inconvenience.
80. I model healthy boundaries so my kids learn to set their own.
81. I am allowed to be a whole person, not just “Mom.”
82. I do not guilt myself for prioritizing my healing.
83. I will not tolerate co-parenting that weaponizes the kids.
84. I am raising emotionally intelligent humans, not compliant ones.
85. I trust that my kids are watching how I treat myself.
Spirituality / Meaning
86. I trust the timing of my life, even when I can’t see the plan.
87. I am allowed to believe in something bigger without having all the answers.
88. I do not need to justify my spiritual beliefs to anyone.
89. I trust my intuition as a form of divine guidance.
90. I am allowed to walk away from belief systems that no longer serve me.
91. I do not have to perform faith to be faithful.
92. I trust that healing is not linear, and neither is my path.
93. I am worthy of miracles, ease, and joy—not just lessons and struggle.
94. I release the belief that I have to earn peace.
95. I am exactly where I need to be.
What matters isn’t the wording. It’s the clarity.
Now It’s Your Turn
You don’t have to write all 95 today. You may never write all 95. That’s not the point.
Pick one area of your life. The one that feels tight. The one where you’ve been explaining, accommodating, or second-guessing yourself the most.
Start there.
Name what you’re no longer willing to tolerate. Name what you’re calling in instead. Name the standards you’re ready to hold, not just for other people, but for yourself.
Write it down. Use language you actually mean. Not language that sounds good. Language that feels true.
And then nail it to the door.
Not literally. But put it somewhere you’ll see it. Read it when you feel yourself slipping back into old patterns. Let it remind you what you decided when you were clear.
I’m going to try this myself over the next stretch of time. Slowly. Imperfectly. One area at a time. I’m curious what comes up when I stop thinking about it and actually put words to it.
If you try it too, I’d genuinely love to hear what shows up for you. What surprised you. What felt easy. What felt uncomfortable.
Things don’t change because we think about them harder. They change when we stop negotiating with ourselves.
That’s the work.